What kind of funeral do you want? This is my first question families when planning a funeral. Because it is what they want more than what I think they should do.
Sometimes they know and have it all sorted. Other times they don’t and just chatting for a few minutes helps them to see the possibilities. There is often no financial gain for me. My background focused more on caring for the family, than focusing on the money.
The reality is – funerals can be expensive. And some people think that by paying more it reflects more love and respect for the person. That it allows for the family to properly mourn the person.
Over the years of running SDF I have wanted people to know that just because you want a low-cost funeral doesn’t mean low-standards. It doesn’t mean you didn’t love the person any less. It doesn’t mean you don’t mourn as much.
I want people to know that a simple funeral can be incredibly moving and significant. In some ways it connects the family closer to the person and event, than a more expensive funeral.
Funeral homes will try and get you to do more, because it is how they make money. They use all kinds of tactics, like honouring the person who died appropriately or saying this will help mourn and celebrate the person better. When in truth, they just want to sell more services.
A low-cost funeral has so many options that a funeral home will not suggest. There are so many options for a funeral service and how it is run and where it takes place. The days when the church minister and undertaker did everything has past. Sure, this can still happen – but there are other choices, which I am more than happy to discuss.
Perhaps what families feel at the time is that it is just too hard trying to organise a funeral and leaving it all in the hands of a funeral home will make everything so much easier. The funeral industry has made things more complicated, because it means you need to use them.
One of the foundational aspects of SDF was making a funeral process much easier for families to manage. So it isn’t this tidal wave of things to do, but rather they are able to focus on the person, each other and what they want to do.
A low-cost funeral is not disrespectful or uncaring. In so many ways it is the opposite. Organising a funeral does not need to be complicated at all. I think most families take a sigh of relief after talking with me, because what seemed impossible becomes not only manageable, but also meaningful.
