Five Things That Make Us Different From Other Funeral Homes
Not Better / Not Worse – Different
#3 Easiest Arrangements
The Background
The second thing, besides funerals being expensive, was the process of arranging a funeral. My impression was that it involved lots of questions needing answers, decisions to be made at a time when there was so much else going on. And some of these decisions may cost thousands of dollars.
Grief and loss are huge life events for people. And to combine this with arranging a funeral – something most people don’t really know too much about – it can be overwhelming.
So my intention was to make the process as simple as possible. Minimal paperwork with simple arrangements that are easy for families to follow. Reducing the stress to make lots of decisions.
Basically, the focus was “less is more”. By this I mean it is so easy to get bogged down with the superficial and what is truly important is missed. I don’t know how many times I have heard families saying the whole funeral experience felt like a blur and not really being aware of what was happening during a funeral service. And a few weeks later, asking themselves what actually happened.
How We Do What We Do
If we look at an example where someone has died and the family have phoned me – this is the way things tend to go.
I always tell them that there is no rush or panic. Take your time. When I meet with the family, the paperwork we need to fill out usually takes only a few minutes. The only time this doesn’t happen is if the family needs to find out some information for the death certificate. And there is plenty of time for them to do this.
And that’s it – as far as paperwork is concerned. The next is discussing what they are wanting – cremation or burial, no service or chapel service. Many choose to have a direct cremation (no service) with the plan of having something a little later on to remember and celebrate the person.
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Why We Do Funerals This Way
An important aspect of our approach was to say to families that a simple “no frills” funeral is still important. There is still dignity and respect for the person.
Sometimes too much pressure was on people to do things a certain way. Reading some funeral home websites re-emphasizes that this is the meaningful way of saying goodbye. That their way is the most appropriate and suitable ways for farewell and celebrate someone.
I have taken many funerals for funeral homes when I was a minister and there have been good and bad ones. It had little to do with what I call the “bells and whistles” and far more to do with the people.
What has been a real bonus is the response from families with our service. Yes, it isn’t for everyone and we make no claims that it is. The stress and apprehension melt away and they can focus on other things – important things. Like each other, the loss, and the future.
They have said that even the simplest committal service was so meaningful for them.
Conclusion
Our arrangements are not for everyone. It has never intended to be. The goal has always been to make things as easy and clear as possible while still providing dignity and professionalism.
Unlike some funeral homes, our easy arrangements are not limited by what we can offer. We work with the family to help them achieve what they want.
I have taken services with dozens of people present, and I’ve even played an organ for one family at a church service. But mostly, families just wanted the freedom to do what they wanted to do without any additional pressure.
Unofficially, I would say SDF has the easiest funeral arrangements in NZ.