Introduction
Often, I have people asking me how they can arrange their funeral so it will not be a burden on their family. In other words, they don’t want their family burdened any more than absolutely necessary. This could include financial expenses incurred or the practical arrangements that need to be made.
They don’t want to be a financial burden—especially if money is tight. And they can’t bear the thought of their loved ones struggling through the hassle of arranging a funeral with the one hundred and one things that seem to be needed.
So if they can do anything to help, they will.
Does pre-planning or pre-paying help?
It appears, from funeral home advertising or funeral insurance providers, that pre-paying is a great way to reduce a lot of stress. But does it really?
Pre-planning a funeral doesn’t really make a huge difference. If family members know what a person wants—burial, cremation, final resting place, etc.—the arrangements are not onerous. In fact, having a greater part in arranging a funeral can be a healthy aspect of the grieving process.
Regardless of whether a funeral is simple or complex, the arrangements aren’t made any easier by being pre-planned. In some cases, they may cause more stress because they limit or obligate families more than necessary.
Pre-paying is not like an investment. Rather, it is more like a lure to get families to sign up. There is the notion that once paid, there will be no further expenses. But you also need to pay attention to the fine print. More importantly, if anything changes with the pre-paid contract, that is when costs could easily escalate.
I advise people that if they are keen on pre-paying, they should set up a specific bank account to deposit money into. That way, they have complete control over it. The idea that pre-paying will save you or your family huge costs later is not accurate.
Personally, I wouldn’t touch funeral insurance with a ten-foot pole. It is more of a scam that takes far more than it gives.
Helping your family
What are the things you can do to help your family? Give them a general idea of what you may like rather than being overly specific.
Having all the family on the same page regarding funeral arrangements is another important aspect that can save unnecessary strife.
Allow your family to make the final decision. The reason is that, for you, it won’t really matter too much. But those there will be affected for longer. The hope is that even though a funeral is a sad occasion, it can also be a positive experience.
Having relevant information readily available is extremely helpful. This could include financial accounts, the hidden key to the chest of gold under the house, and your information for the death certificate. We have a very generalized booklet regarding such information as next of kin, etc. But perhaps the best aspect is all the information we need for the death certificate, which can be straightforward for some families and a nightmare for others.
Conclusion
Feeling like you might be a burden on your family is not pleasant. These thoughts are often far from reality. It is natural that you may want to save your family as much stress and cost in arranging a funeral. And there are a few things you can do that can help.
I appreciate how daunting this time is, and we are dedicated to easing stress, limiting complications, and focusing on what is important. Death is the one thing we all face sooner or later, and so being more comfortable dealing with these aspects—however that may be—is a positive step.