One of the Greatest Fears…
Introduction
There are things in life we would prefer to avoid. Needing to go to the dentist, watching what we eat, driving in rush-hour traffic, visiting the in-laws… To be fair, there are some people who love going to the dentist, watching what they eat, sitting in traffic, and visiting in-laws. But most people would prefer to avoid such things.
Discussing death – especially your own or that of a loved one – is often difficult. Sure, some people can’t stop talking about what they want for their funeral. But for others, this is tough.
Facing the Fear
There are countless quotes regarding fear and how to overcome or handle it. Often, facing your fear is the biggest test, and afterward, you wonder what the big issue was. Fear is okay, as long as it doesn’t take over your life.
I know a lot about fear. As a young lad, I had many fears: the dark, fireworks, balloons popping, swimming, staying overnight at a friend’s place, starting school… pretty much everything I faced was with a good helping of apprehension and avoidance.
However, after facing them, they are no longer the scary monsters – except for balloons popping – it’s loud and unexpected… and loud.
When I started Simple Direct Funerals, there were many steps that required courage. Many people have done the same with their own businesses or careers. Making mistakes isn’t as bad as failing to get up again.
Sometimes the best lessons come from mistakes. Especially in my case.
Talking about funerals should not be confusing or scary
Gaining the Courage
Returning to our subject of funerals and death. Talking about it doesn’t mean it will happen or that anything changes, other than learning about some things.
I’ve said this before: one of the things I love most about this job is when people come to me unsure about the funeral process and leave feeling informed and a lot less stressed. Sometimes the death is expected, and sometimes it’s just about sorting a few things out.
Talking to a funeral home does not obligate you to them. Even if you have a pre-paid or pre-arranged funeral plan with them, you still have the option of going elsewhere, if you prefer.
After speaking to a few funeral homes, you would quickly find (I hope) that it wasn’t as scary as you might have thought. Sometimes an informal chat is all you need.
The Unknown
Much of our apprehension comes from not really knowing how funerals work. We have an idea, but it isn’t until you need to arrange it yourself that you realize there is a bit more to it. Kind of like when I use a recipe while cooking. It looks straightforward, then halfway through, I need to get the packet out of the rubbish bin just to check the instructions again.
Then again, arranging a funeral really doesn’t need to be complicated. This was a significant reason SDF started – to make arranging a funeral easier for families. Talking about all the issues one may need to address doesn’t need to be daunting.
I know it’s easy to say this after being involved with funerals for so long. Just like I’m sure it’s easy for some of you to bake a cake without even trying. So knowledge is a valuable thing.
Conclusion
There is a place for fear – teaching your teenager to drive for the first time. Facing your fears can quickly show that there wasn’t too much to worry about after all. Taking that first step can be tough, and it’s something most people prefer to avoid. But simply gaining some knowledge is not always a bad thing.
SDF is committed to helping all people explore and consider funerals in an informal, helpful way.