Simple Direct Funerals

Arranging a Funeral with Less Stress

Introduction
Arranging even the simplest funeral has a degree of stress for families.  So there is no avoiding the stress.  But there are ways to ensure that it doesn’t make a tough time more difficult.

Stress is in all aspects of life and having ways that help will make a huge difference.  I come from a background of experiencing this stress that can be devastating.  And when you can’t see your way out, it is a horrible place to be.

Arranging a Funeral is Uncommon
By this I mean, people don’t arrange funerals often.  So when one does, it is a foreign uncertain process for many people.  But even so, this
doesn’t mean stress is to be endured. 
Rather, it is telling ourselves that arranging a funeral is new and maybe even daunting.  But there are things that you can do that will help ease this.

Don’t Worry
When people say, “Don’t worry.” It often doesn’t help.  Understanding worry can make a difference.  Sometimes I think of worry as a rocking chair.  You can rock as much as you like, but you still aren’t going to get anywhere.  So worry has very little value in itself.

Perhaps the better thing is to simply focus on the things
you can do.  Take one step at a time.  There can be so many things going on, that you can get lost in the details. 

What’s Important to you?
At the end of the day you need to decide what’s important to focus on and what doesn’t really matter as much. 
Funerals are different for every person.  So what you want or need may not be the same as others.  That’s OK.

If you’re the only one arranging the funeral, do what you want.  You don’t need to rush decisions.  Take your time, breathe.

If there is a group (family) arranging the funeral, talk openly about what each person wants or needs. 
Be prepared to compromise and be able to let go of things that in the
end won’t really matter.

There will be stress
Realising that there will be some level of stress also helps.  It helps because you aren’t surprised when it hits you.  But you are also prepared to deal with it in a positive way. 
Sometimes it may mean having a talk to yourself to calm down or it may be making a decision that someone else may not like, but you do.

Stress may feel intolerable, but it is also easily dealt with.  So although it may feel your world is falling apart with stress, in truth stress is a liar and overstates its importance.

Conclusion
Goodbyes are important.  Done well, they help.  Today as families are more involved in arranging funeral there are many options available.  For many of us death has been mostly behind closed doors.  We don’t have much to do with it first hand.  However death is a natural part of life.  Understanding this is a good first step.

Stress can be handled
Supportive family and friends and even funeral directors make a huge difference.  And what was something you absolutely dreaded to face, is now not only manageable.  What you thought you could never do, you did.

For more information regarding the practical side of funerals, including what do after a person has died explore these pages:

Funeral Process

Practical Matters