Introduction
There is nothing quite like Christmas time. In New Zealand, the weather is warmer, but it will probably still rain on Christmas Day. Everyone is out in their cars, and traffic is a nightmare. And don’t even get started on shopping—especially with one day when shops will be closed for the WHOLE day.
Our memories of Christmas are all different. For some, it is when family gathers with all the excitement of Christmas morning and overindulgence in food and refreshments.
The radio and shops play those songs you either love or hate. And if one particular tune gets stuck in your head, you will have that song repeating all day long.
This year is different
For many families, it will be the first Christmas without a loved one present. Facing the day may bring anxiety, tears, and pain. It wasn’t what you expected, and you definitely didn’t want to be in this situation.
Things will never be the same, and the only thing you have left are the memories.
A tough time
Christmas can be an incredibly tough time for some people. While others are excited, you may feel like crying. When people reunite, you miss the person you won’t see again. The last thing you may want to do is have fun.
For many, this is a silent, lonely experience. For others, it is shared with those feeling exactly the same way as you—missing the same person and trying to figure out how to “do” Christmas now.
You’re not alone
I know this sounds like a cliché. The reality is that many people have experienced this. So even though it may sound a little harsh, you are not unique. I know it may not help now, but there is a way through.
However, experiencing this personally—perhaps for the first time—is not easy.
Memories
Treasured memories of the past are a gift. They are part of your history. Now is the time not to wish to return to those times but rather to create new memories alongside the past. We can’t live in the past or the future—we live for today. And if we can continue to make precious memories, we can, in a way, honor those we have lost and encourage those who are still here with us.
Conclusion
For some, Christmas is not the happiest time of the year—quite the opposite. There could be any number of reasons for this. Maybe they’re just a Grinch.
Be kind to yourself. Do what you can and feel free to say, “No,” when you need to. Realize there will be ups and downs. Something may trigger a memory or feeling. And that’s okay. Let it run its course, rather than fight or deny it.
Don’t deny yourself the chance to have fun or even feel like you’re doing better than you thought you should.
Perhaps the most important thing is realizing how precious life truly is. Life doesn’t stop, and the best thing you can do is to continue living it. I’m sure that is what your loved one would want.